“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21.
I went to college as an adult. I fell in love with school, truth was I needed some success. I struggling with migraine headaches, I had been placed on sick leave, but the truth was there was no job to return to when I became well. The State of California was willing to retrain me as a medical assistant. Once in school, I started getting A’s. I began to believe that not only would I become a medical assistant I could become a registered nurse. During my time in school, I claimed Jeremiah 29: 11.”For I know the plans I have for you'” declares the Lord, ” plans to give you hope and a future.”
The success I had at school was meeting a need. You see I was an unhappy wife, suffering from chronic headaches and I felt the only good things in my life were a lifeline to Jesus, a loving grandmother, and my two beautiful sons. I was discourged with my marriage. I really felt I must have married the wrong man.
My future would be better when I became a nurse. I could finally support myself and the boys and I could end an unhappy marriage. I worked hard to obtain good grades, to graduate, to save money, and to pass the state boards. My goal was to graduate from college and leave my husband. I had a belief system that “marriage was like a prison sentence.”
I thought I had consulted God about the plan to divorce my husband. The reality is I probably told him my plans, never asking if this was his plan for me. So the spring of 1989 I graduated with honors, and I rented an apartment and I separated from my husband. The only thing that was not in my plan was my oldest son decided to stay with his dad. So for four months, I tried life as a single mom. I was a new nurse, in a career that was demanding, I was miserable. Pretty soon, I realized the grass was not greener on the other side. My husband never waivered in his love for me and the separation encouraged my husband to make some changes and taught me that my vows were until death us do part. He was willing to get counseling so we reconcilled.
God’s plans for me were not to divorce my husband. There was a process of forgiveness where I forgave my husband for the wrong’s I felt qualified me to divorce him and along the way I learned that I was not the Holy Spirit in my husband’s life. Also, I learned during this time period that God did not love me best. Forgiveness does not always lead to reconcillation but for me once I really forgave my husband God was able to heal my broken heart. Trust me I did not feel like forgiving him but I obeyed God and forgave him.
Blessings are many. I have now been married 42 years. My husband is my best friend, we have two grown married sons and have five grandchildren. I have a good career as a nurse. When I learned to let go of my pain in my marriage and to trust God’s plan for me to stay married. Lastly, I learned to walk in forgiveness, my prayer to God was to fall in love with my husband and my prayer was answered. His plans are always better than my plans. Blessings.