Got A Raging Battle

What things do I currently crave more than God? This is a hard question to ask myself. Several things come to my mind, like coveting that 15 to 20 more minutes of sleep in the morning which interrupts my  appointment with the King of Kings. Another one is watching American Idol instead of going to church on Wednesday nights. Eating more than I should, not exercising. Gaining and losing weight so many times that the verse in the Bible that said,  I was to be the temple of the holy spirit, I took it to the extreme of being a cathedral of the holy spirit. I was 233 pounds in October 2011. I ate whether I was glad, sad, or mad. Currently I am at goal weight at 130 pounds. But I still want to eat in response to my emotions.

To add to my concerns, since December 2013 I have been struggling at work. I have worked through most of the pain, and I am so thankful that I am able to return to my previous job so on Monday I start a new chapter in my life. When a battle is raging who do you turn to when you are hurting, how do you handle criticism from several co-workers, how do you handle disagreements. I did not handle any of the conflict well. I had several melt downs with tears. Jealousy and pride entered my life.  I have always been liked but I wanted to be liked best. To be quite honest, my heart is still hurting and as I processed the pain, I am surprised that the arguments happened at all. I felt so betrayed. I never heard the words, I am sorry. Lord, I chose to forgive ________for the argument and it made me feel angry, and hurt.

Lord, on Monday when I return to work, let me feel empowered not enraged. Let me only use words that edify you. Let my personal struggles stay out of the work place. Thank you for the victories that I have had by reaching goal weight, but do not let me take this victory for granted. Lord help me to remember I am not to be a cathedral but a temple of the Holy Spirit. A temple that has quiet time, exercises, and takes every thought captive, yes even every bite captive to you before I eat it. I give you my battles, my struggles, and my victories. Lord, I have a raging battle inside of me. I have given in to staying in bed to long, not going to bed on time, watching shows that are not edifying to you. I have had some dark thoughts against my co workers. Lord I renounce pride and jealousy and laziness. Jealousy, pride keeps me from seeing the big picture. Lord today, I will take my thoughts captive to you. I will take a moment before I speak a word against my co workers. Let me claim your promises. I love you Lord.


About Diana Manley Rockwell

I am married to Doug. We have two sons. We have four grandsons, two granddaughters. We live in Ramona, CA. I love Jesus and have followed Him since I was eleven years old. I have my Master's Degree in Nursing Administration. I love to read. I want to write a children's book some day. I have many wonderful family and friend
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3 Responses to Got A Raging Battle

  1. chargal says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I can relate to many of your struggles, jealousy, pride, letting my emotions rule me, not spending more time in the word and with the Lord.

  2. Dear Diana,

    I can relate to some of your struggles and difficult times. Recently I’ve had a meltdown or two of my own.

    Praying that In Christ you will be more than a conqueror. That the Lord will bring victory from that which the enemy intended to use against you. That He will use it for your good and His glory. Even down to the thoughts and intentions of your heart…may they be good and pleasing to the Lord.

    Blessings in Christ…Susan

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